Hey everyone! I’m back again…with another rant! Whoo…I love ranting…ok..
Anyways, from the title above you can see it’s going to be about my little sister..yeah. OK, first off, I love her to death, she’s one of my best friends and she makes me laugh (even though her jokes are so stupid lol) and ya..but, there are times when..things just don’t go well. I mean, its pretty common, you can’t expect a perfect relationship 24/7, and girls fight with each other! so there’s no question about that. Also she is 5 years younger than me, so right now she’s 17 I think? lol so you can do the math and know my age..
K, now that I got that out-of-the-way, there is some things that she does that kinda bothers me. OK, so you all know that I have social anxiety..and my sister is kinda like that, but not really. I mean she’s quiet and shy too, but I really think she can be a lot “Braver” than me..if you know what I mean. Now thats not the problem, you see I kinda feel like she knows about my SA. I never told her, I only told my mom and my close friend. But I kind think she’s aware of it, because sometimes I would go to her and tell her about my problem and I can imagine her connecting the dots and realize I have SA.
Sooooo…fo some reason, I think she uses that to maker herself feel better? Does that make sense? OK, for example, she would blatantly say, “Oh, me and friends are planning to do this and its going to be much fun.” or ” my and friends the other day went to do this, and it was so funny like omg.” -___- do you see what I mean? And her whole random comment has nothing to do with what we’re doing. She goes ahead and says and flaunts the types of things to somehow evoke an reaction from me. And of course I would be like, “what” and in my mind, “where the hell did that come from?” She has been doing that for a while now. And its been happening more recently and frequently. Like really? I mean if we’re talking about friends or whatever, I get that she would share that, but out of no where, she just says things like that. Flaunting that she has more friends than me and that it’s fun and everything.
Yes, she does have more friends than me… Am I jealous? Very likely. I mean, there’s this whole back story I had in high school and its just I wished I did more things back then, and then I wouldn’t have to feel so crappy about my present life..but thats a whole other posts. I dunno, I really don’t want this whole thing to get to me, but it happens more and more! Why is she doing this?
She would also show me all of her good marks and be all smiley and happy…and I just congratulate her, but really…what is she aiming? Make me feel like shit, that’s what. And its working unfortunately. She gets better grades than me, she has more friends than me…who knows..what she’ll beat me next. I don’t know, I just feel like being the older sister, I’M the one that supposed to do all that, bt it seems like she’s getting more ahead of me.
Anyways, before writing this I had a whole rant going on, but now I’m typing this it doesn’t make any sense. I really hate her for doing stuff like that. And I really think she’s doing this to make herself feel better. Why else would she randomly say those things out of the blue. And she acts so oblivious,but at the same time, looking over to see my reaction. Uggh…
I’m trying to not let this get to me. But I have a feeling, one day if it happens again, I will seriously blow up..and that’s not what I want to happen. I don’t want to make myself a bigger fool than I already have. I feel like she kinda has me on the palm of her hand and since I tell her some things, she thinks she can just twirl me around and play with my feelings freely. Yeah, thats how I feel. And remember, she’s friggin younger than I am…-_- It really pisses me off so much, you have no idea. And from the other past posts,m she copies me too, and you know how I feel about friggin copy catters. Not only she’s exceeding in other things, but she’s taking all of my interests and things that makes me unique.
anyways,I have to go now, but that’s the gist of everything and it’s so annoying. I mean I could I just tell her how I feel, but I really don’t want her to see anymore of the “real” me, you know? anyways, that’s all…I have another post that I will post soon, but yeah. See you next time…