I applied to this place…and…?

Hey everyone, I got a little update to share with you all, and from the title…you probably can guess what happened. About A week and a half ago, first off i didn’t have wifi again and was at the library doing my usual job hunting stuff and came across a posting that was quite ideal for me. It required 1 year experience but for some reason, I applied anyways. Usually when it’s under 2 years, I would apply anyway. So that’s what I did and a week later, I still didn’t have wifi so I was yet again at the library…and I got a response.

I felt my heart pound ridiculously hard and I opened it, reading that they want to meet me and I could schedule a day and time to meet with them. I was at first so in shock, someone actually responded…and noticed me. I of course couldn’t even think straight, closed my email and did other things. But it came going through my mind, all I kept thinking was, ‘Omg…someone wants to see me.’ ‘I have an interview’, ‘I’m going to have to talk to these people.’ , ‘I don’t want to blow this up, but I’m so friggin scared.’ and other random things along those lines.

Later that night, I responded (after talking about it with my mom) I accepted it and set a date and time. The next day they responded, and agreed to the day I chose.

It was like 3 days till the interview, and I was anxious af, you have no idea. I was stressing over the littlest things, and I was divided in my mind- one part of me wants nothing part to do it, I was friggin afraid and the other part wants to do it, I have been waiting so long for this, I’ve prayed every night for something like this, why should I back out? Of course, part of me wanted to do it, maybe it’s because of that face, after you graduate from uni or college, you’re expected to go find work and work in that field you studied in. I was pressured and embarrassed from that I still couldn’t find work and now that someone has noticed me and asked to meet me, I feel that feeling slowly drifting away.
It is now replaced with fear of screwing up and being completely awkward in front of them and not being fun at all.

And so, the day came. My mom actually came with me (not to the interview obviously, but on the commute there as I am shit at directions and also she needed to check the stores around there, but that’s besides the point..) and we actually got lost a bit, the studio was so hidden, I arrived 15 minutes late -_-.

I managed to find it and went in. With palms sweating and heart racing so fast it could pop out, I went into the studio. There was no one there and I kinda stood there awkwardly, and i peeked in a room and I saw some people working there. Of course, being that awkward girl, I ran back and paced back and forth hoping that someone can pop up in front of me. Someone did eventually and I asked for the lady that recruited me and I met her, shook her hand and tried not to be so damn nervous.

I have done some interviews, but this was something I’ve been waiting for a long time and I really didn’t want to mess this up. And, to my surprise, they didn’t ask any of the questions I rehearsed. It’s as if….they kinda wanted me. They talked about the project they are working on and I met with one of the guys working there, and slowly I felt a bit more comfortable there.

At the end, they asked if I was interested and I Just froze. I gave a BS answer and told them if I can get back to them and said it was because of the commute was a pain in the ass. They nodded and I guess looked OK for me to think it through. I shook their hands again and said goodbye quickly rushing out of the building to cool my face.
And so, I emailed them back and accepted it. I’m not going to go in really big detail, but there were some big deciding factors in accepting it, one major one is I was assigned to do a role that is out of my comfort zone. I denied it and I’m afraid that I didn’t make a great impression because of that. But she said I would be starting Mid January next year, and so not only am I not doing that other role, but I don’t have to work yet.

This post is getting rather long, but pretty much up till now, I just want to do well there. I don’t want them to regret picking me, I don’t want to let them down, you know? I mean I know there is a first for everything, and I don’t think she expects me to be senior veteran level, but i feel she hopes that I do “more than my skills can go”, if that makes sense. Sighs, anyways I still feel stressed, especially when I denied doing a certain role and I just feel awfully stupid for doing that…..

ANYWAYS, this is getting hella long, I am very grateful that someone noticed me…and I just hope that everything will go right, I mean, I Just don’t want it to be too troublesome….and of course, I hope that I could still enjoy doing the things I love to do, along with working there. I know commuting is gonna eat away a whole chunk of my day…but I guess that’s how it is in the first place. I guess you can say, I am more genuinely happy than scared, but there’s still a big part of me that’s terrified to the max( and the fact I have to wait till next January to start >.<).

If you read my other posts, you can see how much I wanted a job and here it is, I shouldn’t complain. I prayed every night and well..I guess God did answer. One of them was that I don’t want this year to end and that I still can’t find anything, and just in the beginning of December, something happened. Hm, something to really appreciate and be grateful for.

Alright I’ll go now, I’m just rambling. The next time I’ll post it probably will be about my new job…and I hope I don’t go crazy anxious there… See ya later.